I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Friday, August 09, 2002
I remember Cuban-Chinese restaurants in New York. I'd see them a lot, and then my friend Andy Birsh took me to one, I think before we went to see a performance of Shakespeare in the Park. It might have been at that performance that we saw Clive Barnes sitting just below us taking notes (for the Times at the time). That was the Comedy of Errors, which was done in cosa nostra style (settings in Sicily, costumes, etc.), and I couldn't stop laughing, but he panned it the next day. Another time I saw a guy collapse. I was with a friend -- Doug Breitbart? -- whose mother was an MD. The guy who collapsed was in the top row, and we were near the bottom, so we just watched as some other physicians pounded on his chest. My friend's physician mother told us the guy would definitely die. The disturbance probably delayed the opening for ten minutes or so. An ambulance came and took the guy away, and then we watched the play -- me flatly disbelieving that she could know the guy would die, even though I also knew she was right. But that wasn't the Chinese-Cuban night. The Chinese-Cuban restaurants had some Chinese food with yellow Cuban rice. And there were lots of egg dishes -- Carribean style versions of more familiar Chinese food. I loved these places once I found out about them, and probably patronized them religiously till Empire opened up on 97th street and Tommy Fenerty introduced me to the sesame noodles they introduced to New York. (Before that Szechuan and Hunan restaurants had been the new craze, after lifetimes of Cantonese food. I think Hunan balcony still exists. I believe that it was the coverage of President Nixon's trip to China that made Americans interested in Hunan cuisine.) I miss the Cuban-Chinese restaurants; I took my mother and she liked it too. Another restaurant I went to with Andy I took my mother to later, and she told me it was all right to leave cash on the table after we got the bill. I thought they'd think we were walking out, but she told me that leaving the cash was an element of "savoir faire," the first I heard of the term. It meant to me a kind of "Whenever I feel afraid I hold my head erect" kind of whistling. (I knew that song from the same song-book that I knew Balai-Hai and Dites-moi from.) But I practised it, and today I can almost do it without self-consciousness.


posted by william 11:18 PM
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